Reblogged from slow-motion-jump-attack
Hi. My name is Kate, and I’m a Disability Support Worker. I love my job. I love the amazing moments of joy and laughter, and I love the humbling, challenging moments of the hard work, early mornings and day-to-day struggles.
My shift tonight included a little bit of everything. The clients and I were in hysterics at the dinner table, and then I found myself in a challenging conversation whilst assisting a client in the shower. Let’s call this client Miss C.
Miss C: I miss my mum every day.
Me: That’s sad. I miss my mum sometimes too.
Miss C: Your mum isn’t dead.
Me: Actually, my mum died when I was 7.
We spoke a little about our mums, what happened, and our family situations, etc.
Miss C: It’s not fair.
Me: No, it’s not. But it’s life. We just have to make the best of the hand we’ve been given.
Miss C: That’s easy for you – you’re normal.
And that’s the point where my heart broke a little. In case you missed what the matter was, I’ll repeat it.
Miss C: That’s easy for you – you’re normal.
Normal!?!
Firstly, if any of you know anything about me, you know that I’m not normal in the slightest!
But that’s not even my point.
How incredibly heart breaking that a person with a disability separates themselves from being a normal human being. How awful to live thinking of yourself as abnormal – less human than people who can maybe walk or talk a bit easier than you can.
But even more so, how incredibly heart breaking that we, as a society sometimes fall into the trap of thinking of people with a disability, as less than people.
I didn’t really know how to respond when she said this to me. I didn’t know whether to say something or let it pass. And after a few minutes, and still not being able to get that word ‘normal’ out of my head, I decided I couldn’t let it go.
Me: You’re normal.
Miss C: You know what I mean.
Me: I know what you mean. But you’re normal as much as I’m normal. You have a disability that means you just need some help to do some things. You need a wheelchair to move around in the same way that I need glasses to see.
I don’t even know what my point is. I just know that her ‘normal’ has rung in my head all night, and I can’t past the complete wrongness of the statement, and perception.
Uuuurrgggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh….
I hate this. Why isn’t life just simple? Black and white? Why is everything so unclear? And why the heck must every decision be so gosh-darn difficult? Why do I continue to put so much pressure on myself?
Why can’t I just know what’s right?
Why do I still feel directionless?
Today I met up with a leader of mine to chat about some things. And I cried.
It took me by surprise, as I wasn’t expecting to become upset. And usually I am too proud to let myself cry in front of people. It was a little bit weird (and embarassing).
I also felt like I was going to faint… but that feeling is becoming a bit old.
Wow…
Just did the test online. Apparently my top love language is Quality Time… followed closely by Words of Affirmation.
Well there you go..
